Running

I recently posted on my IG about something very near and dear to me, running. I know I've wrote about this in the past, but as something that has become an obsession in my life I wanted to bring forth a new set of reflections that I have taken from this activity. To be frank, my life has been a whirlwind over the last 8 weeks and writing has been an outlet that continues to allow me to process and grow. Let's talk.

I think that often times we think or running and have a negative association with it. Maybe we used to do it with an ex, or you did it to lost weight, or you weren't built for it, etc... I think that running is always difficult just like any new endeavor or chapter you embark on (another blog for another day) and that in order to truly appreciate those difficult things you have to really immerse yourself in them. Let them overtake you and allow yourself to be fully engaged and engrained with the process of sucking at something, to then see growth on the other end. Many lessons to be discussed below, hope you can take something away.

Lesson #1 - It never gets easier - I think that this one is an interesting one. As in most of these reflections/lessons they are not just something that I apply to running, in a more grandiose cliche way, I apply them to life. When I think about this phrase I often equate it to relativity. In that whatever you do becomes "normal". So, when people say, "oh I could never do that" their "normal" is not adjusted to someone else's relative "normal". I think I draw this comparison because I still have plenty of very difficult days. Many times I go off for a run and have 0 motivation, 0 desire to go out into 20 degree cold and run 10 miles. 0 desire to do hill repeats, or tempo runs, or hard efforts, yet I still do them. The relative understanding of easy or the easy scale, just slides farther and farther down. You change though, you become calloused to th experiences that you encounter daily. Theres value in doing difficult things and doing them frequently. You can always get faster, you can always go farther, you can always do more, because the goal is not to arrive... it is to keep going... It never gets easier.

Lesson #2 - More input, doesn't mean, more output - This has a similarity to lesson 5, but is different. I think often times we jump into something and we try to get really good really fast, but true mastery takes time. A VERY long time. I don't know that I'm a master of anything. What this phrase is saying though is that often times we think that by exerting more effort, putting in more input, will in turn lead to more output. We think that caring more, doing more, giving more can or will be reciprocated with a result,. Yet sometimes it doesn't, sometimes more effort isn't the answer. Sometimes effort or giving more to something just isn’t enough. A run could fall apart in a matter of moments and you have done nothing different than any other run that you’ve done. Sometimes more isn't enough, and sometimes you don't have to do anything wrong to have things not go your way. All you can do is take a step back and recalculate and try again, keep moving, keep striving, and learn what you have to do to ensure that the next time, things go your way. You also can take accountability. If you want more on that look at the books The Gulag Archipelago or Extreme ownership. When you can see how you were at fault in the situation you can change it. You cant control other peoples actions, but you can control yourself. Analyze, understand, recalibrate, and move forward. More input, doesn't mean, more output.

Lesson #3 - Suffering - Oh baby, the big one, the ever-reciprocating, ever-present, ever-lasting teacher, that life throws your way. I've said it before, a quote from JP, "Life is suffering." Man is this one a bitch to live with. Bad shit happens, sometimes one thing on top of another. All I'll say is over the last 8 weeks this phrase has resonated in my head. Most often when I'm alone and fairly frequently while running. The easy route is always to ask why? Why me? Why now? Why this? It is so gosh damn hard to focus on the things you do have, rather than the things you have lost. I often come back to the verse tattooed on my back (not very religious, not that that matters) but the story of the man who built his house on rocks and the man who built his house on sand. Storms will come, bad things will happen, you will have adversity. Build yourself up on rocks, storms will come, you'll be ready. Life is suffering.

Lesson #4 - Little things make the big things - I feel like all of these are so similar yet, so different. And to me so applicable to life. We often look at people who find success and admire from afar. We wonder how? How does someone do it? Have the perfect relationship, the perfect career, the race win, the trophy, the (insert anything). Its all compound interest. I love Simon Sinek's comparison to love for this phrase. He is in a talk and makes up a fake story about dating. He says, If I go on a date last night, and today I tell you, guys... SHES THE ONE. I love her. Your friends may say uhhh, easy pal, let's pump the brakes. Yet if the opposite was true, in that I had been dating a girl for 5 years, and I hadn't said I love you yet, you may say... Hey man, whats the deal? Are you not into it? So, we know that sometime between 1 date and many years we fall in love. Theres many different ways, many different timelines, and many different things that can trigger that for you, but the thing is there's no one consistent recipe. This is what is important. You never know when things will click, you'll never know when it will feel right, and you never know when it will all fall apart. What you do know is that you can do the little things everyday. Stretching, workouts, sleep habits, diet, making her that cup of coffee, letting her dog out at night, or giving her your favorite sweater. Do those little things and watch the compound interest build in life or in running. Little things make the big things.

Lesson #5 Consistency, over intensity - When starting something new or getting involved in something we often have hype. Perfect example is new year resolutions. I HATE new years resolutions. I hate the idea of someone thinking that an arbitrary made up day is the spur in the ass that they need to start something new. The only way to approach something new, be it a hobby or a lifestyle change, is to do it slowly and consistently. You have to do today what you are able to do. Do the smallest tolerable amount that you can handle in terms of change, and start that at the smallest possible occurrence that you can handle. You don't start training for a marathon by running 10 miles in a day. You walk a block a day for a week. Then two, then 5, then a mile. Then you slowly but surely increase the tolerance that you can handle by slowly chipping away until the new found volume of activity is your new level of normal. Don't burn yourself out by diving headfirst with no safety net. Take it slow, consistency over intensity.

Lesson #6 - Control - Control the things that you can, let go of the things you can. Simple in statement, hard in execution. Control.

Lesson #7 - Keep going - I've saved this one for last, not because I believe that the best comes last or that it has a higher value than the other things I've discussed in this article. I've put it last because its the hardest thing for me to write about. You know I've never struggled with depression, or anxiety, or emotional issues. I've never seen a real therapist. I've never been prescribed a drug to treat any of these. For a very long time I suppressed my emotions. I've hidden them deep behind a hard outer shell only to let them roar out after a heavy night of tequila and bad decisions. In the past few years I've become way more in tune with them. I've matured emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. The reason I preface all of the coming statements with the aforementioned is because I've never really struggled with physical pursuits. Now I don't say that in terms of things not being difficult in the physical world, because they are and I've done a fair amount of hard shit. What I'm saying though is that I've kept going through all of those. I believe the reason for that is because the mind is more powerful than the body. The mind will push you beyond what you thought your body could handle, but what happens when the mind begins to falter? When you experience trauma, deep emotional pain, or any of the many things aforementioned above? What happens when the mind begins to waver or doubt? I think although I still believe I haven't experienced many of the things I mentioned above, I think I have begun to understand them. If only in that when you use your mind to push your body, it is different than when you have to use your mind to push your mind. A struggle of being stuck in your own head, going over old conversations, asking yourself where did I go wrong? A cycle of being stuck in a circle of thoughts going round and round internal to only yourself. The conversations and dialogues that only you hear. The hardest part is keeping going. It feels so much easier to give in, to let go, to be mad, to be sad, to give up. What I'm telling you and myself is... Keep going.

On purpose,

Matt